Want to make your wonderful husband laugh out loud on Father’s Day? Share some of these funny quotes and messages with the man of the hour.
It’s only right to share a dad joke with him on this special day of the year.
There are some great jokes for new dads and some for seasoned parents.
Funny Father’s Day Messages
Make this his best father’s day with a funny message. Here are some of our favorites:
- “Happy Father’s Day to the love of my life, the father of our children, and my partner in crime.”
- “Happy Father’s Day to the great father today is all about because tomorrow it’s back to being all about the rest of us.”
- “Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body, still wants to nail me.”
- “Happy Father’s Day to my favorite DILF!”
- “Happy Father’s Day to the world’s greatest
- “Happy Father’s Day from your favorite pain in the ass.”
- “Happy Father’s Day to my best friend. There’s no one I’d rather be in the trenches with than you.”
Funny Father’s Day Quotes
Celebrate the great dad or father figure in your life with these hilarious quotes about fatherhood.
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”Steve Martin
“I rescind my early statement, ‘I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants.’ (I hadn’t met my daughter yet.)”Dax Shepard
“The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.”Tim Russert
“Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38 percent of their ice cream.”Conan O’Brien
“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”Jerry Seinfeld
“The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.”Frank Zappa
“Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.”Dave Barry
“If anyone else [deprived you of this much sleep], you’d have them up at The Hague for war crimes.”Tom Hardy
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”Mark Twain
“I feel like you don’t realize what it means to be a parent until you become a parent of your own. Then you feel this tremendous guilt and have this urge to apologize to your father. You just don’t realize what you’re doing to your parents in every aspect of life.”Max Greenfield
“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story!
Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions.
Four-year-old: Why?”James Breakwell
“There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’”Jim Gaffigan
“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.”Rodney Dangerfield
“Never underestimate kids’ tenacity. Raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent.”Stephen Colbert
“Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.”Ryan Reynolds
“Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you’re 12, but every day.”Mike Myers
“Dads are like chocolate chip cookies; they may have chips or be totally nutty, but they are sweet and make the world a better place, especially for their children.”Hillary Lytle
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.”Reed Markham
“The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you’re unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it.”John Green
“You don’t have to deserve your mother’s love. You have to deserve your father’s. He’s more particular.”Robert Frost
“A father is a banker provided by nature.”French proverb
“You don’t need drugs when you have a [baby]. You’re awake, you’re paranoid, you smell bad… it’s the same thing.”Robin Williams
“Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”Ed Asner
“A good father is one whose only reason for putting down a laughing baby is to pick up a crying one.”Linda Poindexter
“A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.”Al Unser
“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.”Jimmy Fallon
I used to say to ‘I would take a bullet for you, I could never love anything as much as I love you.’ I would say that to my wife, but the second I looked into that baby’s eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield.”Ryan Reynolds
Want More Great Quotes?
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